If all the doors are closed, look for the window

"You can blame circumstances, but backsliding always begins in the heart (AW Tozer)"

We were driving back from Kommetjie yesterday and I had 2 hours of quiet time in the car to think. There was no talking and I knew that Nick was thinking too. We’d had a fun weekend but as soon as there are quiet moments, our thoughts usually revert to the question of “What now? How do we move forward? How long before the break through?”

I am usually an optimist of note, but my faith took a knock at the end of last year (which I will tell you about sometime) and I am ashamed to say I didn't fight for it like I should have. So increasingly I have noticed out-of-character pessimistic sentences dropping out of my mouth over the last few months. Nick even said to me the other day “Oh no, no, no, no, NO! There is only room for one pessimist in this family. It has never been you, it doesn’t suit you, and it will never be you. That place is taken!”

I think I can sum it up by saying that my usual prayer to God over the years of “I know it is coming!” recently turned into “Is it coming?” and then subconsciously into a quiet “It’s not coming, is it?”

Unbelief! In a God who has only ever been good to me. In a God who sent His only son to save me. Tears fill in my eyes as I confess that because I can't believe I opened the door to it and allowed it in. Unbelief is a very dangerous sin to toy with. I listened to two David Wilkerson preaches today and in the one, he spoke about unbelief. 

What is unbelief for a Christian? It’s not the denial of Christ. It’s not going so far as to say “God doesn’t answer prayers.” No, we would never say that.... It is the quiet nagging thought in the back of your mind that says “God does answer prayers. Just not mine.” That is the sin of unbelief in a Christian, and it is not to be toyed with or fed or justified… not even for a second. It is rooted in self and ultimately leads to the death of your faith, your joy and your peace. When you allow unbelief in, first of all it grieves the heart of God. And second of all, you turn to your own answers, your own plans and fear becomes the rudder for your life.

If we were to write down every miracle we have seen in our lives, most of us who have walked a road with Christ could write a book of testimonies. There have been miraculous moments of provision, moments of breakthrough, moments of freedom, answers to prayers, healings, and lives turned around… And yet, when the crisis comes, we sometimes forget about all the Lord has said and done and we panic… “The hardest part of faith is the last half hour.”

As we neared home yesterday, I turned to Nick and spoke my thoughts out loud:

“I choose to hope. For the sake of my body, for the sake of my soul, for the sake of my spirit. I choose to hope. Even if there is no earthly reason to do so. Even if all the natural evidence points to the situation being hopeless - I CHOOSE TO WAKE UP EVERY MORNING WITH HOPE. If my hope is sick, I am not going to kill it. I’m going to give it medicine and make it well again! I need it. I’m going to treat it like the precious gift it is and feed it and nurture it.”

Hope stems from the belief that everything that happens to me has been sifted through the hand of a God who is loving, good and sovereign. Hope says no matter what it looks like - God is in control, He loves you and He knows what He is doing. He is busy fulfilling His plan for your life. He is the author and the finisher of your faith. Do not let go of the promises He has given you. 

There is a thread that runs through the Bible when it comes to the promises of God…. Every time God makes a promise to someone, the first thing He does is sentence that promise to death... We hear the promise, we know it’s God, it settles in the sand of our heart like an anchor – and then God rolls in death upon achievement of that promise. The promise doesn’t die – but all human means of achieving the promise dies... And as death rolls over every human possibility of fulfilling the promise, we have what David Wilkerson calls a “window or faith” …. a precious moment in the Lord when we come to the end of all of our human efforts and nothing has worked. At that moment, we can choose to doubt God, or we can choose to say “I don’t understand anymore, Lord. I don’t know why I am going through this. As people look at my life, they may doubt you Lord. But I WILL NOT! And if I live like this until I get to glory one day, so be it!”

People speak about “windows of opportunity”to get things done, but God works with “windows of faith”. A window of faith appears when there is no possible human plan. If you can figure it out, there is no place for a window of faith… But when you can’t figure it out, THAT is where your window of faith appears. As every bit of human hope dies in the promise, there appears a glorious window of faith for you to believe God when circumstances seem to show there is no hope.

We think that we need all of our ducks in a row for the promises of God to be fulfilled, but God does not operate out of human wisdom. When there aren’t even any ducks in sight and we have cried and prayed and fasted and come to the point where we say “Not my will, but yours” – THAT is when He moves.

If you’re in an impossible situation, don’t waste your window of faith. When you find yourself in a situation you don’t understand at all, think to yourself “God, you’ve given me an opportunity to have faith in an impossible situation. Just like Abraham. Just like Joseph. Just like Noah. Just like David. I am not going to waste this opportunity that I have to stand in the ruins of my situation and declare GOD IS GOOD! As for me, I trust in you. And I will trust in you until my last breath. Even when the people around me doubt your goodness, Lord, let it be known that I will not.”

The Bible says we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses… here are some things that some of these witnesses said when all the doors of human possibility closed and their window of faith appeared:

“Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.” – (JOB)

“If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we WILL NOT serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (SHADRACH, MESHACH AND ABEDNEGO)

"Look, I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God." (STEPHEN - RIGHT BEFORE HE WAS STONED TO DEATH FOR HIS FAITH)

“Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbours and an object of dread to my closest friends— those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery.  For I hear many whispering, “Terror on every side!” They conspire against me and plot to take my life. But I trust in you, Lord; I say, “You are my God.” – (DAVID)

“"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." (JESUS – RIGHT BEFORE HE WENT TO THE CROSS)

To become a legend of the faith, we need to embrace impossible situations and use them as an opportunity to trust in God against all the human odds. Like Will Marais says “When I am surrounded by the unknown, I go back to what is known! God is good. God is love. God is sovereign. And God is merciful. And that is all I need to know.”